Honestly, I do human design wrong.
One of the main things they tell you when you’re first learning about your design is to avoid all the fiddly bits of your design until after you’ve mastered your strategy and authority. I did not do that. I gave a passing glance to the most important pieces and dove head first into all the fun fiddly bits.
I’ve spent the last few decades alternating between wishing I had popped into this world with an instruction manual and trying to write that manual for myself and getting frustrated because, apparently, I make no sense.
Done right, human design can be a really wonderful instruction manual. Mostly, it’s confirmed what I already knew, while allowing me to sink more deeply into my own quirks. Oh, the life-changing majesty of giving yourself permission to own your quirks. Now I know to take the chair with its back to the wall in a restaurant. I know it’s okay to eat little bits at a time without commiting to full meals if I don’t wanna. I know there’s a reason specific money goals make me want to puke. I know that my head is very prone to absorbing other people’s opinions. (So don’t do that, Amber. You’ve seen the internet and its opinions.)
While I love sinking into the warm proverbial bath of my own weirdness, I’m still a bit lost when it comes to understanding how my intuition works through my body. Streams of information, no problem. Funneling that guidance and information into actual creation that actually goes places has been more of a challenge. Hence, a new devotion to listening to my body and design. Fine, strategy and authority - I’m listening.
Because I’m a manifesting generator, one of this year’s big goals is to become the mistress of my own sacral energy and use it for good (meaning, whatever it wants) and not for evil (as in, what I think I should be doing). Oh, those vile, vile shoulds.
Something I’ve realized now that I’m paying attention (and taking a class on using your sacral energy) (trying to figure it out on my own was going to slowly) is that I shut my sacral energy off when I’m burnt out. Hello, light bulb moment. I shut my little sacral powerhouse down because I don’t want to have to respond to anything else. Your girl is full up. Everything go away. Unfortunately, this does tend to include money, opportunities, friends, and various and sundry fun stuff. Since I spent most of 2021 and 2022 burnt out, I shut out a lot of life. It’s so tempting to jump up and down on my own head about that, but that’s not how we do things any more. Self-flagellation is so 2009.
Now that my energy is back and I understand that I switched off my own power…I can switch it right back on again. So I’m experimenting. I do love a good experiment. (That’s how the money healings came about, after all.) I’m paying attention to when I flick the off switch, and when I let my energy radiate.
Even though I’m pretty well healed from my burn out, if II’m tired or triggered, I’ll zap my sacral energy. Temporarily, but off it goes. And I’m not willing to turn it back on again until I’ve taken care of myself. Napped, eaten, turned off my phone, taken a walk, read a book, whatever I need in that moment. No opportunities allowed, nothing I’m interested in responding to until I feel better. Thank you for that revelation, This Morning.
It’s also a huge relief to realize I don’t have to run around and chase things down. I’m not designed to do that. My personal map is to let all that sacral energy fly and respond to whatever comes to me. Is it a big yes or a hell no?
I’m so, so curious to see what happens in my life now that I’ve switched my power back on.